


Shadow

by starmeos



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fear, Gen, fear of failure, lmao rip hinata, may he rest in piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:38:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2534489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starmeos/pseuds/starmeos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>something dark, tall, frightening, stands behind hinata, ready to attack, ready to consume</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short vent piece   
> there will be mistakes here and there, its not proofread- i might do that at some point though

a shadow, unknown to hinata, constantly follows him, towers over him from behind. ~~fear.~~ It doesn't really affect him, it depends how brightly he burns that day. the brighter he is, the easier he can differentiate between shadow and body; paranoia and reason. the easier it is to get himself back on track- back to living in the moment. 

should hinata burn out, it wouldn't be too hard to fall victim to the darkness it brings. 

it twists up his insides, making him feel sick to his stomach, like he'd throw up at any given moment. It binds his body, making him unable to move, unable to think, freezing everything. It grips at his throat, strangles him. there's pressure on his chest with every breath he takes. 

feelings like these makes Hinata want to close his eyes only to never open them again. its pathetic sickening- sometimes keeping his light dim is easier than to be constantly burning energy for shining light. 

isolation seems easiest at that moment. 

gears in his mind turn the wrong way, replaying memories with images clear as day, leaving Hinata to regret everything he did wrong, leaving him to ponder for hours on end what he could have done better, how he could have worked harder, how he could have focused more. it eats his insides, leaving him feeling completely                    e   m  p  t  y

destroyed

                                          useless

                                                                                                        ~~scared~~

if lucky, hinata will sleep 4 hours at most, constantly waking up every other hour drenched in his own sweat, washing up, and going back to bed. hopefully not returning to the awful night tremors he faced with for the past few hours. the next morning, hinata is 

okay

pushing aside destructive feelings and dealing with them throughout the day, never failing to maintain his cheerful and energetic demeanor. rarely anyone would notice his slight hesitations, his small periods of silence-

his distance. 

sugawara notices, he always does. it happens rare enough for hinata to come up with excuses, saying he had a lot of homework the night before, or he tried to squeeze in some more practice when he got home- he was just  _tired_. any mention, any thought of what happened prior would awaken the feelings he expelled from his mind, ones that would come creeping back, swallow him up. 

by the next day, everything is dealt with, everything is put behind him. the shadow is one again

just

a _shadow._

it becomes unknown to hinata, though it still looms behind him, almost like a reminder, keeping him in check.

the moment he stops burning, the moment his light burns out

it will be there

ready

to swallow him up

~~the fear of f a i l u r e~~


End file.
